CARRION, MY WAYWARD SON

Between the Social Conservatives whining, and publicists plugging, Head has been in the news alot these days. A speed-freak overdoing it? Go figure. Ever since Korn "gave Head to Christ," it's rarely left the tabloids:

"How Brian "Head" Welsh keeps from masturbating!"

"Head never calls me anymore!"

"Head's ultimatum to 50 Cent!"

"Head to start line of Christian products!"

etc.

In the spirit of The Onion, I have consolidated the opinions of the people.

Read on, and e-mail me if you can't read the text. You might need to squint--Blogger keeps auto-resizing my photo.