NAKED BEFORE THE LORD

Amy Grant thanks the Lord for Satan...

"Baby, baby...just lay down on the altar..."

You know, as much as I hate her music, I sort of hope Amy Grant plays this festival--it would be the first Christian Rock fest I'd attend.

Amy is evil, you see. Some will question what goes on this guy's mind, to make him think of such a thing. I believe I know exactly what's on his mind. Isn't it clear?


Christian strippers? Flirty Fishing? Fishers Of Men? Even the Mormons are flipping out these days...but really, who didn't see it coming? When your entire faith is based on science fiction...who should be surprised when they start wrestling the Space Christ, just like Jacob, in a holodeck of the mind? And yet these deadbeats all but pull the strings...

Don't think for a minute that I'm just being a dick--there is power in the force of faith. An agenda is in motion--that's not just paranoia anymore. And should certain individuals get what they want, it will one day return to nip them in the ass.

But perhaps the tide is turning? Could it be?

Nah...they're just regrouping.

Why must the Devil have all the good music?

Because he owns the company.

Maybe he'll buy a senate seat next year...or at least score us some lawn tickets.

It should be quite a show.

Rock on...

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