THE RELIEF EFFORT: ROUND FOUR

If I told you who today's guest poster is, I'd have to kill you. YAWNING ANUS reports from deep within the bowels of a "secret" Federal Agency. Though his origins in the agency are shrounded in mystery, rumors of a young, impressionable Yawn being hired as a jizzmopper for the CIA during Operation Midnight Climax are entirely false...I think. Wait...sorry...my signal is fading out. Yes sir...I understand sir...tomorrow. Where were we?

Closely aligned with the miscreants behind the legendary Daily Dirt, Yawn is a horse of many colors, and largely because of MK-ULTRA, I assure you. I also assure youthat with post titles like "All the Yawning Anus in China" and "Yawning Anus of The Beast," you've never quite read anything like this site. So here you go.

This post will self-destruct... Enjoy. )+(

YAWNING HURRICANUS

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Several commentors have gone so far as to accuse my agency of using weather control technology to influence current events and the approval ratings of various public figures. As proud as I would be to take credit for the marvels of Katrina and Rita, alas, we can only take credit for setting a goal, going in with a plan to accomplish that goal, accomplishing the goal, and setting up social conditions for more effective control of behaviors.

Various sub-branches of the Army Corps of Engineers are behind most foul weather. I imagine they, like my agency, have lucrative contracts to test drive these creations on the domestic poor before unleashing them in an African cleansing campaign in the coming years. After all, the Sahara was expanded using nondescript windtrap devices in Chad, Niger, and Sudan, and have been operating since the 1940s.

Indeed, Katrina and Rita were milked for their social engineering properties. Part of our contract with the Republican party involves moving- or eliminating- largely democratic voters from Red States. Now that the Katrina refugees have basked in the glow, hospitality, and charity of others for the past couple of weeks, going back home to struggle and live in poverty isn’t very appealing. Therefore, Louisiana bleeds redder than it ever has.

Our goal in the aftermath of Katrina was to make the city as unlivable as possible while getting the psychotronics back online and fresh vegetables in to the city. Mind control chemicals, when sealed in cans or plastic, generally weaken in 4-6 months and are not as effective as the fresh chemicals in farm-picked vegetables. You may have seen images of antisocial behavior in the few New Orleans survivors. I point at these looters, rapists, and degenerates as exhibit A in the case for using as many drugs and psychotronic broadcasts as it takes to keep these animals from reverting back to the behaviors of our ancestors.

Therefore to buy time, we monkeywrenched FEMA and stifled local authorities in the restoration of order. By eventually allowing the sending in of the National Guard, we improved the images of various members of the Republican Party.

Rita, on the other hand, disrupted the poor, but as we predicted, did nowhere near the damage Katrina did. Therefore, our goal was simply to evacuate the citizenry to areas with healthy levels of chemicals in the food, air, and water so that as few as possible would suffer the symptoms of withdrawal in areas with potentially downed psychotronics.

I am proud to say that we never lost a single broadcast in Texas during the hurricane and were able to get chemically-treated food into Port Arthur, Galveston, Houston, etc. quickly enough that Houston did not go into the chaotic state that New Orleans went into after Katrina. Lake Charles, etc., on the other hand, saw our transmitters mangled and the area cleansed of mind altering chemicals. We were able to evacuate those residents, like the Texas residents, to safer areas where they would continue to receive the chemicals and broadcasts necessary to behave within acceptable parameters established by a composite model of our contracts.

Look for similar population control strategies in California and the Midwest along the Mississippi river in the next few years. Both these areas present unique challenges for which we already have adopted multiple contingency plans for maintaining control of human populations with 99.95% accuracy in turnout vs. planning.