THE RELIEF EFFORT: ROUND THREE

Today's guest poster is none other than the most adorable Mystery Minx in the immediate Blogosphere, Sar--Lady Sound Destruction.

She and her brother, Strider, practice the fine art of leftist rantology which, quite frankly, I don't always agree with, but generally always read.

And you just know she's gotta be cute--c'mon guys, just listen to her. Ah, but dream on, dear brethren...dream; for hers is a shoe which shall never scratch your ceiling, but might, one day, crunch with firmness, swiftness, on your toe.

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People have sex. People enjoy having sex. People will continue having the sex they enjoy.

As a matter of fact, i n Australia having sex is considered a "patriotic duty". And in China they take sex so seriously, they've dedicted a satellite program to monitor sexual behavior and aren't opposed to showing sex education videos to encourage fornication.

But sex is filthy and should only be done missionary style in the dark to procreate. Right? Apparently our conservative leaders think so.

Until recently, the federal government provided funding to a group called The Silver Ring Thing, a nationwide pro-abstinence program, related to a Christian ministry based in Pittsburgh. Since 2003, Silver Ring Thing received $1.2 million from federal funding as part of the Bush administration's initiative to expand abstinence-only education. The funds went towards shows at churches nationwide that include "Saturday Night Live"-style skits, music videos and a message of abstinence. Young people were given a silver ring to support their pledge to abstain from sex.

I'm sorry, but what a crock of shit. Really, I'm hard pressed to believe a hot blooded American guy, especially a hormonally driven teenager, would WANT to abstain from sex, let alone pledge an oath and wear a ring advertising it.

Now before you all go and get your panties and your tighty whities in a bunch, I'm not advocating careless recreational sex. I advocate care in all recreational sex. Seriously, with all the diseases out there, I don't think anyone can afford the luxury of opting out of the love glove. But again, I differ with the our conservative leaders who actually cut federal funding for condoms.

So here's what I suggest. I say turn the lights on, be as kinky as you want to be, and get your freak on. Following the love glove, of course.